One girls opinion

Reflecting on my 2025 I have made several revelations.

Instead of just saying I will eventually visit the places I want to visit and see the things I want to see, I actually went out and saw them this year. I have been losing weight for a few years, saw substantial progress this year and gained some confidence too. And it didn’t fix me.

I think I held the unconscious belief that if I did the things I haven’t been doing they would make my life better. Seeing as they didn’t, I now feel worse. The less I know the better: the things I identified as solutions to my unfulfilling life have instead introduced more problems. Is this progress?

I’m running out of ideas to make myself feel better, just like in Cranes in the Sky. I wonder what Solange found to help her out.

What I’m realizing as I write this, and what I haven’t wanted to admit to myself, is that these issues likely can’t be fixed with a weeks vacation or a new outfit. It feels like I need to start over on a more fundamental level, which seems impossible and also very scary. What if I start over and get the same result? How do I give up everything I’ve built? What do I give it up for?