One girls opinion

Actively avoiding things that are difficult has ruined my life. It feels very vain to admit that most things come easy to me and that I learn extremely quickly. On the surface, it sounds amazing to say that I haven’t struggled, and instead have excelled for most of my life. And that’s because of my little secret: if I wasn’t immediately great at something, I never did it again. I’ll also admit it’s nice that I have been able to rest on my laurels and that has gotten me to a good place in life, but it has also led me to a dead end.

I started incline walking a little over a month ago. I wanted to be in the “fat burn zone” to lose some weight, and for me that was a 10% incline at a 2 mph pace for 30 minutes. I hated it because I never got any better. My lungs hurts, my calves were burning during every session. Each time, my garmin would say that the workout was great for increasing VO2 max, like that made up for my 30 minutes of misery. After one month, to stay in the “fat burn zone” I now have to either increase my speed or increase the incline. My lungs still hurt (though not as much because my heart rate is much lower now), my calves still burn. And for the first time I had the thought “is this what training feels like, this satisfying?” I feel like I finally understand the satisfaction of progress.

I do not put myself in positions to get better at things, and if I do I rarely stick with them long enough to see much results especially when it feels like nothing is changing. I finally understand how it feels to build something and see it grow even if that growth is mostly invisible. I have robbed myself of this experience for my life so far because I could not see the utility in it. People who have no other choice but to build may think they’re at a disadvantage, but being able to stick it out and see the work build on itself is so powerful and ultimately makes you a much stronger person. I have been taking the easy way out until now.

Does it make my incline walk any easier? I wish. But another month from now who knows where I’ll be. In the meantime, walking has helped me get back into studying Japanese and inspired me to start writing again (writing is one of the things I’ve avoided….). Not giving up on one thing I’m okay-ish at is the best thing I’ve done for my entire life. It brings so much more growth than leaning into things you are already amazing at.